The Alpha and the Omega

Go Patriots

2007-10-11T09:06:00.000-07:00

The New England patriots are kicking ass. 5-0 and still going.

Super awesome!

http://www.lohud.com/blogs/uploaded_images/0217205548_Patriots%20Logo-756409.jpg

Somebody gonna get a hurt real bad

2007-02-03T13:00:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone,

Been ages and I have been busy as hell. So here is a post. Have you all seen Russel Peters? If not, goto youtube and search for him. He is HILARIOUS.

Anyways, I will post something better in the near future.

Sayonara,
Antarius

"I might get in a little bit of trouble, but I know that it will take them 23 minutes to get here..... In that time... Somebody gonna get a hurt real bad!"

Eef you come toodaaay eet ees too early

2006-11-06T23:50:00.000-08:00

THIS IS BY FAR THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING I HAVE EVER SEEN... (I mean it)

Sincerely,
Antarius

Me

2006-10-06T16:54:00.000-07:00

Just a picture of me in my room: (for lack of a better post)

The internet ... this is really internet

2006-10-03T21:56:00.000-07:00

See this picture... It explains all. Thats on my laptop connected to the Rice wireless internet in the Hamman Hall theatre.

To clarify: Its downloading an update. over a 100 mb in less than 2 minutes

The return of the Antarius

2006-09-20T08:15:00.000-07:00

Hi,
It has been a long time and I do sincerely apologise for the lack of posts. I have been busy, settling into my new life in an amazing place...

Here are some pics of my residential college and room...

My suite window... my advisors way of welcoming their O-week group.. awesome

The acatramp. The giant trampoline in the Wiess Acabowl. (Grassy area that is insside Wiess)

A picture of a side of Wiess. All rooms face onto the acabowl. Wiess is like a Giant U and the third side is the Commons

The Wiess commons. Home to our tabletop theatre, a giant projector where movies are screened, where we eat etc. Has a Ping Pong baord, Foosball....

The common room of my suite. Door to the left is 142-B where my 2 suitemates live and the right is the bathroom.

Another view of the commons, from my doorway (142-A). Thats my bike in the red

An aerial view of my roomates side of the room. Thats Marcos in the picture...

My side from the foot of my bed....

My side of the room.... The chest of drawers is sorta where we split the room... but its not rigid.. we work things out... we get along well

My precious. Thats my desk with my macbook....

The best bike in the universe. Its old.. my uncles but rides like a charm :)

I will post more when I get time. Im using my suitemate, figgy's, camera so when I have time I will borrow it again. Maybe Ill get the servery next time... food is amazing

TEAM WIESS!

Cheerio,
Antarius

Watch this space

2006-09-18T11:18:00.000-07:00

See subject

Rice University

2006-08-23T18:51:00.001-07:00

Hi,

Im in the middle of O-week now (orientation week) so this post will be short. Just saying Rice is AMAZING and the best place absolutely.

My residential college, Wiess College is the best too
1. We have bedrooms that are like 20 X 10 and bigger
2. Our college iss just the coolest
3. Wiess comes up with the BEST jacks ever
4. Our chefs are world famous and food is out of this world
5. We rule!!

P.S This is the first post on my new macbook..

Sayonara,
Antarius

P.S To those I know, I will send pics sometime..

Commemoration

2006-07-19T13:23:00.000-07:00

This post is in commemoration of two things,

1. My arrival in Boston and the USA where I will be continuing my studies
2. The banning of Blogspot in India. The government and all responsible bodies deserve a hearty congratulations for their idiocy.

Hopefully they will soon cease their anti-democratic moves. First the banning of the 'Da Vinci Code' and now this..

Hope all is well with you,
Antarius

Conversations

2006-06-30T07:08:00.000-07:00

Here is a conversation in MSN between Neon and I. Dunno how this ended up, but here it goes...

Antarius says:

back

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

to the future

Antarius says:

in the past

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

when the world was new and the grass was mowed

Antarius says:

and the towering trees were but seeds sowed

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

nah this ain't fun

Antarius says:

so with this, the rhyme is done

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

yes its time to eat some bun

Antarius says:

under the mellow setting sun

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

dun da dun da dun

Antarius says:

but my words are just short of none

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

so what can i do, become a nun?

Antarius says:

no, take out and use the gun

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

so i shoot someone and run?

Antarius says:

no, shoot off, thats no pun

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

and this was told by the father to his son

Antarius says:

over a glass of bourbon

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

when entered the pub, Robert Langdon

Antarius says:

and his trusty sidekick Samson

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

they had come to the pub for their luncheon

Antarius says:

which was cooked on Teflon

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

which surprisingly weighed a ton

Antarius says:

as it contained some fresh dimsun

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

After eating, the duo left on a Harley Davidson

Antarius says:

which seated 2 person

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

U forgot a 's' there, u son of a mason

Antarius says:

and the bulb went from off to on

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

and made dhruv feel like he had to use the jon

Antarius says:

only to escape, that was the con

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

oh how fast he ran across the lawn

Antarius says:

unfortunately, in the big scheme he had pawn

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

he had forgotten to account for the Pakistani newspaper, The Dawn

Antarius says:

because he had to fight out using not brain, but brawn

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

so before one could say beteleguese, he was gone

Antarius says:

sacre bleu! non

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

French is boring, yawn

Antarius says:

i kill you with a shotgun of which the barrel has been sawn

Antarius says:

are you there, machaaan?

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

I was watching Kbc with Amitabh bachchan

Antarius says:

what about Abhishek Bachchan?

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

I dunno, he is the son of Jaya bachchan

Antarius says:

son of a gun

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

I know! He has the money to fly to London

Antarius says:

i have got stun

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

It's a good thing then that you have pension

Antarius says:

to buy a mansion

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

In that case, will you please sign a petition

Antarius says:

will u burn it on a Bunsen?

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

Whatever you say, I want to meet Sushimita Sen

Antarius says:

ill come with you - grin

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

hmmm, thats a weird chin

Antarius says:

for a car to spin

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

the driver has to drink a lot of gin

Antarius says:

and crashed drunk, into the dustbin

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

That was the end of the driver called Lin, and what do you say we put a stop to this bullshit of a poem that is worthy of being trampled over by a bowling pin

Antarius says:

that hurts, need aspirin

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

Well I am willing to bear the sin

Antarius says:

now i need to go and will see you another rath or din

Antarius says:

cover your face with cloth - muslin

ÑΐЎǻиŧħą says:

you better put this in your blog, your so called linchpin

Antarius says:

so be it, blog it will go in

Confused

2006-06-13T09:51:00.000-07:00

See this advert. I think the manufacturers are confused... They appear to be thinking that we breathe from our stomachs... or worse, we inhale this water

EVILIVES

2006-05-11T04:21:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Behold something new and EVIL... EVILIVES. This is an introductory post to evilives which can be found here.

As I am out of town, I will not be reachable much fpr thenext few weeks. Email any doubts, queries, comments to evil-lives@hotmail.com

All he best to all of you in ur entrance exams.
Antarius

Star Wars

2006-04-25T09:42:00.001-07:00

Did you know, that a long time ago in a galaxy far far away... Blaaze, Aslam and Naresh Iyer helped defeat Darth Vader? do you know how?

You guessed it...... BE A REBEL!!

This is also present on the blog of the The Society Of People Who Have Nothing To Do
Check it out and see what else is there...

Antarius

When Cloning goes wrong

2006-04-19T23:30:00.000-07:00

Cloning - the dreaded word. People are scared of cloning and its possible repercussions. Ever wondered why? Here are two reasons

Sayonara,
Antarius

Fair and umm... not so lovely

2006-04-09T11:06:00.000-07:00

Question: why is Fair and Lovely (and its derivitives) very important to the Indian economy?

Answer: It is the main part of our GROSS Domestic Product

Courtsey: Madhvi. Copyright MMV

Funny pic

2006-03-22T21:59:00.000-08:00

Hi,

All is well and our boards are over. Well, for more info on the joys of it please see Tommy's blog.
Anyway heres is a funny picture to raise any down spirits...

Happy movie watching... :D

Sayonara,
Antarius

T-day, Chennai

2006-03-19T21:52:00.000-08:00

Have you ever seen very strange sights? Sights that seem almost funny in a mystical fashion. Here is one from my very own home.... A photo of the Tea Shelf

In case you consider this to be mundane, I inform thee that there are 40 varieties there :D

Sayonara,
Antarius

Unquotable Quotes - 4

2006-03-05T05:32:00.000-08:00

The unquotable quotes are back.

1. "Let the final velocities be v1 and v2 and the initial velocities be u1 and u2. Let the points they reach be P(x1,y1) and Q(x2,y2). The forces acting are a and b and they make an angle of Alpha and theta with the horizontal...." - wonder whether his brain cells were number b1 and b2...only

2. "Let the height of the triangle be Y. To solve the sum, let Y = 0" - Great triangle.

3. The teacher said, "V2", and a genius in the class replies "Ours one"

4. "Is you Islam?" - Biased Teacher to a muslim student. Does he know religions?

5. "Its 13 minutes to the finish. And they equalise. Talk about a LAST MINUTE goal" - Someone, get him a watch

6. "This homework, on monday morning I want you all to produce me" - Man, this is a Physics assignment!!

7. "You cannot use Alpha, only Theta" - Physics teacher (above) on my statement that 'Let the angle of incidence be Alpha"

8. "My Mercedes was being shipped from Delhi, but the ship sank midway" - Geography expert pointing put the benefits of interlinking the rivers

9. "The Equator passes through Chennai" - The man of point 8 was given a run for his money by the rechristened EquatorSelva

10. "I'll see you in hell" - is that the speakers final destination then?

11. "Are you stupid? That is a rhetoric, do not answer that question" - What an insult!

12. "Welcome to Fourth and lovely , fair umpire" - Charu Sharma. Thats shinier than Moso.

13. "Do you have a phone?" - Survey question asked from Bangalore across a.... you guessed it... phone!

14. "People are hitting trains into each other and blaming it on me" - Laloo on the high accident rate since he took office

15. "Quit monkeying around" - Mother monkey to children ;)

Hope you enjoy. All are true except the last one...

In the middle of my boards now, but I live to entertain... Best of luck!

Copyright MMVI
Antarius

The oothapam incident

2006-02-25T06:11:00.000-08:00

Question: What do you call an oothapam that grows long hair, jumps off the plate and kills you?

Answer: Anniyan Oothapam

Do you speak Hindu?

2006-02-09T06:52:00.000-08:00

This is an email I got from my aunt. Questions asked and answers given by the almost dead with laughter Indians.

Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean?
A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target....

Q. You're from India, aren't you? I have read so much about the country. All the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, the elephants Do you still use elephants for transportation?

A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in our house but later, we started elephant pooling with our neighbours, to save the air. You see elephants have an "emission" problem...

Q. Does India have cars?
A. No. We ride elephants to work. (Refer response to earlier question)

Q. Does India have TV?
A. No. We only have cable.

Q. Are all Indians vegetarian?
A. Yes. Even tigers in India are vegetarian.

Q. How come you speak English so well?
A. You see when the British were ruling India, they employed Indians as servants. It took too long for the Indians to learn English. So the British isolated an "English-language" gene and infused their servants' babies with it and since then all babies born are born speaking English.
A variation to the above is a compliment ---

"You speak very good English."
Response: Thanks. So do you.

Q. Are you a Hindi?
A. Yes. I am spoken everyday in Northern India.

Q. Do you speak Hindu?
A. Yes, I also speak Jewish, Islam and Christianity.

Q. Is it true that everyone there is very corrupt?
A. Yes, in fact, I had to bribe my parents so that they would let me go to school.

Q. India is very hot, isn't it?
A. It is so hot there that all the water boils spontaneously. That is why tea is such a popular drink in India.

Q. Are there any business companies in India?
A. No. All Indians live on the Gandhian principles of self-sufficiency. We all make our own clothes and grow our own food. That is why you see all these thin skinny Indians -- it is a lot of hard work.

Q. Indians cannot eat beef, huh?
A. Cows provide milk, which is a very essential part of Indian diet. So eating cows is forbidden. However in order to decrease the population of the country, the government is trying to encourage everyone to eat human meat.

Q. India is such a religious place. Do you meditate regularly?
A. Yes, sometimes I meditate for weeks without food and drink. But it is difficult to keep my job, because I have to miss work when I meditate
like that. But the bosses there do the same thing. That is why things are so inefficient there.

Q. I saw on TV that people there walk on burning coals. Why do they do that?
A. We don't have shoes. So we burn the bottom of our feet to make it hard so that we can walk.

Q. Why do you sometimes wear Indian clothes to work?
A. I prefer it to coming naked.

Q. How do you celebrate Thanksgiving Day in India?
A. By roasting an American....

The shortest post ever

2006-02-08T05:44:00.000-08:00

National Inductance

2006-01-30T07:12:00.000-08:00

What do you drive if you adopt a passport of this country to display it to the world?

Ray optics

2006-01-25T09:10:00.000-08:00

Identify this graph...

Its a ID curve!!!

Spot the differences

2006-01-17T09:03:00.000-08:00

Quite hard isnt it?

Pongalo Pongal,
Antarius

Disclaimer : The targeted may have a problem with this post. In that case, I wholly apologise to the chipmunk and its community.

Bring it on...

2006-01-13T09:04:00.000-08:00

May I request all those on my lost to BLOG. Else live in fear of being knocked off the list.. Muahahahaha

For kids

2006-01-10T05:32:00.000-08:00

A game most kids excel at...

9/11 - The consequences

2005-12-31T22:18:00.000-08:00

9/11 was no joke, but its repercussions were. On my trip to Mumbai, I saw a list of banned items in aircrafts. Here is how the list goes...

1. Knives
2. Scissors (longer than 6 cms)
3. Pistols
4. Axes
5. Mace
6. Shotguns
7. Rifles
8. Hand Grenades
9. Toy Guns
10. Gunpowder
11. Fireworks
12. Gas stoves
13. Martial Arts weapons
14. Machine Guns [ :|]
15. Swords
16. Meat cleavers
17. Gun lighters
18. Hammers and Shovels (As if I couldnt part with them)
19. Large and Heavy tools (see above)
20. Sabers
21. Explosives
22. Pickles and Spices (My grandmom was apparently gonna throw it in the pilots eyes)
23. Golf Clubs
24. Matchboxes
25. Radio Devices

The list is purely paranoid and not to mention stupid. Even worse, after confiscating my Grandmoms pickles and my Cousin sisters paper scissors, THEY SERVED A METAL SERRATED STEAK KNIFE INFLIGHT.

These airlines are crazy

Sayonara,
Antarius

P.S Trip was lousy... They didnt let me carry my machine gun onboard

# 50

2005-12-22T04:40:00.000-08:00

Finally there - Post number 50!!!
Thank you dear viewers and come again.. and again.. and again so on and so forth
I must say thanks again.. as I got my 100th view just a few days back.. in exactly 100 days!

Here is a picture that truly validates Asian Paints Advertisement campaign

Water Problems

2005-12-19T08:02:00.000-08:00

Greetings,

Question: Which river water, when mixed with anything, be it edible or not, in the ratio of 1.618:1 is poisonous to consume?

Answer: The river NILE
Reason: 1.618 parts Nile water gives you Phi-Nile which is a cleaning fluid which will kill you

Signing off feeling phi-ne,
Antarius

Identify

2005-12-13T08:47:00.000-08:00

What's this? Answer underneath

Post dedicated to my friends Harsh, Syd and Vishakh

The naming... didnt learn from the first issue

2005-12-09T06:43:00.001-08:00

Ricky PO(i)NTING

Nick KNIGHT

BLESSING Mahwire

Salman Butt will feature in the next issue. Till then, goodbye

© MMV All rights reserved. Antarius and the Alpha and the Omega are registered trademarks of Antarius. No part of this post may be utilized without prior permission of the author.

The naming ceremony went wrong... somewhere

2005-12-05T10:02:00.000-08:00

Have you noticed how there are some very weird names floating around??? Like these umpires... and their 'kith-and-kin'

David SHEPHARD

Daryl HARPER

Daryl HAIR

Flipside

2005-11-29T06:46:00.000-08:00

Why is searching for shells on the beach very expensive?
Ans: You are shelling-out

Okay, horrible joke. Check this out..Screenshots showing how windows has evolved
[Important ones only. Rubbish like windows Me have been ommited]

Windows 1.01

Windows 3.1

Windows NT

Windows 9x

Windows 2000

Windows XP [My PC... Got some enhancements...]

Windows Longhorn

Windows Vista

A typical post

2005-11-24T08:34:00.000-08:00

Heya/Helo/Allo/Heyy [Notice the weird greetings]

Life sucks. I a deeply troubled due to my clairvoyant presence in the surrounding atmosphere that radiates a presence of wave spaghetti. [weird reasons, everytime]

School is worse..... I endure torture and its a pain. Help me...

Im so bored. Like sucks [reiterated 170000 times] .

*Quing* *pinj* *blikes* *asdhh* *uedue* * yusd* *poiyt* [Make up weird words]

I have been tagged...

So I will reiterate a monotonous thing that 5.95 / 6 million blogs have
7 things i plan to do
1. Not do this ever again
2. Not feel bored [is BLOG routed in BORED perchance?]
3. umm.... [hesitance is the mother of all blogging]
4. umm..umm.. [reiteration is the father then]
5. Be evil
6. Take control of the spinning CD racks
7. Make life not suck

7 things i can do
1. fill the CANT DO columnwith these contents
2. Sing a lot (or yowl) [Good singing isnt 'cool' these days?]
3. Be funny
4. Make fun of stereotypical blogs
5. Watch LOTR 4.. oh sorry I meant Harry Potter
6. Laugh
7. Umm... [See above]

7 things i cant do
1. fill the CAN DO column with these contents
2. Be boring
3. Not imitate boring posts
4. Become the master of this world
5. umm... [Refer sumwhere in this document]
6. End this list at number 6
7. Think that ManU and HP are good

5 things id never wear
1. CD's
2. Umm...
3. Pink with green spots
4. CD's
5. Hair Gel

I am now being a robot. I shall tag all on my blog list....
TAG

Please continue this tradition of emulating others....

Antarius

DISCLAIMER: This was made in an attempt to highlight the BLADE nature of most blogs. Please make yours unique...

Lame joke part MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMLXIV

2005-11-23T08:41:00.000-08:00

Calvin and Hobbes

2005-11-21T20:24:00.000-08:00

Sorry for not posting, been busy and havent got any new ideas. I am just posting a Calvin and Hobbes strip that is godlike...

Its absolutely amazing. How did he come up with this is a mystery, especuially since Krakow was actually the captial...

Napiers 'Instruments'

2005-11-05T06:59:00.000-08:00

Request: Please blog, those people who are still on my list....

Shoaib Akhtar

2005-10-30T05:20:00.000-08:00

This is a map showing Shoaib Akhtar's run up to a match in MAC, Chennai

Three Word Game

2005-10-15T02:02:00.000-07:00

This is a game that I have picked up from one of the forums to which I am a member..

Each post can have 3 words only
Make a story or anything, within 3 words per comment.
Feel free to comment as many times as you wish

Hopefully with enough of us, we can build a good story... filled with Surprises

I will begin in the comments....

In all sainthood...

2005-10-12T06:33:00.000-07:00

Question: Why do Sanyasis like vinegar?

Answer: Because it is ASCETIC ACID [Acetic]

The the glass tumbles...

2005-10-06T23:43:00.000-07:00

Please zoom by clicking to read the text, if necessary.

I also apologise to those people who were knocked off my Blog list. It is temporary, and the list was too long. So blog again and you have your return ticket.

Evil Stick Figures: Part II

2005-10-05T23:19:00.000-07:00

Danke/ Merci/ Dhanyavad/ Thank You

2005-10-03T09:30:00.000-07:00

This is my post to thank all the visitors for their support. 2000 views is the reason why and more so the time. These views have come about in 27 days exactly which is quite a high number, if I may say so myself.

Thank you once again, and keep visiting.

ALL MY THANKS ARE BELONG TO YOU!!!

Moving on...

2005-09-30T06:04:00.000-07:00

Its weird. My last few posts have been text. So, in order to set the balance straight, here we go.

Also, I woulod like to thank all the viewers who have contributed to those 1750+ views in just over three weeks!!! Thank you and keep visiting.

Double figures...

2005-09-28T06:24:00.000-07:00

Deceptive aint it? Double figures not meaning 10 but 33. This is my 33rd post( which I figured out just yesterday due to the help of Green Monster)

Speaking of weird stuff. I noticed this. Its from a friends blog, yet happens everywhere.

one comments????
Where dost thy gone, Grammar?

Consistency Check

2005-09-26T22:56:00.000-07:00

This is on the lines of an opinion poll.

QUESTION: Who do you think is the most consistent musical entity? That includes bands, singers or anything..

Consistant can be anything. A career that has been the same, no major ups and downs

Cast your votes in the comments!

HA-HA-HA-HA

2005-09-24T01:41:00.000-07:00

On request from a friend, who I shall name THIN for now,
I shall reveal the Human Brain Speech

We were asked to give a speech in class. NEURON (as we shall refer to him, respecting his privacy) decided to speak Extempo. His speech went such:

Setting:Deep intermittent laugh must follow each sentence.

TODAY I AM GONNA SPEAK ABOUT THE HUMAN BRAIN
THE HUMAN BRAIN HAS MANY NEURONS
THE NEURONS HELP US THINK
BUT RIGHT NOW,I CANT THINK OF ANYTHING
... WAIT NEURONS ARE WORKING
NEURONS ARE WORKING

This little hilarious cameo was cut short when the teacher added
"Thank you NEURON, you may leave"

This deserves UNQUOTABLE QUOTES x: limit x tending to infinity
Yet for convienience, this is part III and part 4 will ensure

Sayonara,
Antarius

Why Vista was born...

2005-09-22T21:21:00.001-07:00

The old name was open to some ... uh... misintepretation

Wall-t Disney

2005-09-20T01:17:00.000-07:00

Once, Walt Disney decided to teach Mickey Mouse the Ramayana. After much explaining and reading, Mickey still does not get it. He reads the Ramayana again, yet when Disney asks him who is "Mickey Mouse, tell me...who was the father of Lord Ram?", he was unable to answer.
In frustration, Disney hit mickey who lost his balance and hit his head on a wall. Suddenly, he got up and began reciting verses from the Ramayana. How did that happen?

When he fell, he hit a wall. So he became Wall-Mickey (Valmiki)

Unquotable Quotes II

2005-09-17T08:30:00.000-07:00

Return of the quotes...

1. "Boys on the left, Girls on the Right, rest in the Middle"
A very gender oriented PT teacher announced to his class.

2. "Form a straight circle"
PT teacher of my old school. Leibenitz would be turning in his grave.

3. "Please give me pay attention"
What happened to the word Grammar????

4. "We store water in earthern posts to cool them as earthern pots absorb heat from the atmosphere" - Anon (I shalt not reveal the creator)

5. A friend boasted about his Mercedes in Delhi ( Excuse #2. Same guy as part 1)
"My father drove towards Chennai. My mom took the Maruti and drove to Delhi. Midway both hit and my Merc was beaten up"

6. "The Pepsi Cup is brought to you by Pepsi"
Announcer on TV. wonder whether he has heard about competing companies...

7. " When aircrafts crash, we lose the baggage. Thus I will design a plane that has the floats used for the baggage" -Didnt catch the Homo sapien in that. Did you?

8. "The Yamaha brought to you by Super Fours and sixes"
Charu Sharma. Maybe after many months of coaching, he might rival mandira Bedi with that line...

9. "Is you Islam?"
Same Geography teacher as Part I to a muslim child. Evidently wasnt trained in religions of the world.

10. A while back, my 7 year old cousin asked me as to how old I was. I replied : 12. She says
"Damn you are still older than me..."

11. "I want you all tomorrow to Produce me"
Last years Physics teacher to 12B1 on the homework situation. Funny, it wasnt a biology lesson...

12. "S= ut + 1/2 * a * (coffee)^2)"
Same as above. On no laughs, she cracks it again....

13. "This tastes like trash"
Since when did people take Trash as a control? And when did they taste it?

14. "Both the three of you together, sit separately"
PT teachers again redefine the realms of Grammar

15. "Icecream on a cold day makes one sick"
Nothing funny. Just dumb

16. "All your base are belong to us"
The worst of the lot. This caused a suicide rate increase worldwide by 358% (of english teachers)

Do you want a Part III?
Yes/ No/ Maybe- shout out in the comments...

Antarius
Copyright MMV

Unquotable quotes

2005-09-16T07:36:00.000-07:00

True to my word Sykora, here are some of those quotes

1. This is by my cousins PT teacher. A short illustration is provided below (The author sincerely apologises for his lack in drawing skill)

Apparently, holding the forearm outwards builds your biceps and the other way (reverse the wrist ONLY) will build triceps...

2. "Shallow Water has less relative density"
Genius quote by a PHYSICS teacher. She is like 4 foot 10 and I wionder whether her brains were addled by the settled Carbon dioxide down there...

3. "When we go to the cold north and south poles, we find high pressure. Thus, when we go up a mountain, as the temperature decreases, the pressure increases"
A so called geography teacher enlightened me with this astounding piece of extrapolation.

4. "How many quarters are there in a Basketball game"
A former team member asked me this while playing in the AISC basketball tournament.
I replied five to the believeing mathematician...

5. "Which year did the Revolt of 1857 take place?"
True. A former classmate asked me this before ourr History exam.

6. What did Neil Armstrong do? I asked a poor soul once...
He LANDED ON THE SUN was the prompt reply.

7. These twins were sitting in my cousins bus. One points out of the window and says
"Hey (censored name) look! Your brother"

8. A friend calls me up at home on my landline and asks
"Hi Dhruv. Where are you?" As if my landline roams in the Sahara

9. An excuse for not having a car someone boasted about.
"The ship sank while shipping my car". Our future geography master had just previously announced that it was in Delhi.

10. "Properly gate closing, helps lift running"
The inscription in the elevator in my cousins place

11. "Children, please take out your notebooks, we will have OPEN BOOK DICTATION"
Former Tamil teacher who just missed the point of the exercise.

12. "Tamil kaksha main, Tamil hi bolna chaiye"
TRANSLATED: In Tamil class, speak in Tamil (Said in Hindi)

This should do for now.
All rights reserved,
by Antarius

P.S is a school in Chennai
P.P.S I assure you, this is 100% real and none of it is made up

Windows...

2005-09-16T06:01:00.000-07:00

Hope Mr. Gates sees this....
-Antarius

P.S I wish thee the best o0f luck in upcoming exams (if u have em)
May the marks be with you

Guess who's back?

2005-09-16T02:38:00.000-07:00

If thats not clear, It says PUSH THE TEMPO

How I feel these days...

2005-09-14T08:26:00.000-07:00

May I request you visitors to spare a moment and post comments.

What did the heavyweight wrestler name his rock band?

2005-09-13T11:03:00.000-07:00

The Wacko-wski brothers strike back...

2005-09-13T08:01:00.000-07:00

Any guesses?

2005-09-13T06:09:00.001-07:00

The small object is a 'NEUTRON'.
I sincerely apologise if you have seen this already...

The answer is in the comments...
Please comment,

-Antarius

P.S is a school in Chennai
P.P.S This has nothing to do with All your base

Guess perchance?

2005-09-12T09:18:00.000-07:00

Help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The MATRIX is coming...

All the base are not belong to us anymore

2005-09-11T06:46:00.000-07:00

On popular demand, I have taken a break from ALL YOUR BASE stuff. On request from 'Good thin kid' I give you this...

A new threat to women....

2005-09-11T02:07:00.000-07:00

It is called CATS-calling!!!!!!!!!

EPISODE VI: Return of the BASE

2005-09-10T09:18:00.000-07:00

Here are two more...
For the aspiring Law student...

Who said Baseball wasn't making waves????

Ignore the incorrectness please...

2005-09-10T06:35:00.000-07:00

Part 5 to the AYB picyures from me

Julius Caesar: Revisited

2005-09-08T09:49:00.000-07:00

Here is a Julius Caesar script that I wrote (mostly)for last year.
Credits: Abhishek, Vijay, Rudra, Ji-Han, Tommy, Harsh for help, be it constructive or destructive
Enjoy...

CAST:
Julius Caesar (JC) the mighty

Marcus Brutus the noble Popilius

Cassius the cunning Artemidorus

Cinna Calpurnia

Trebonius the terrible Portia

Metellus Cimber Marullus

Caius Ligarius Flavius

Casca Sooth- Sayer

Decius Brutus the deceiving Harry Potter

Marcus Antonius Terminator

Lucius the servant

Act I Scene I

(Enter Marullus and Flavius and a few Citizens)

M: Hence home you jobless, idle, useless, pointless, stupid, pathetic, unimportant beings who inhabit this planet

F: One sec M:, We too are inhabitants of this planet thus you are calling me, your superior a “jobless, idle, useless, pointless, stupid, pathetic, unimportant beings who inhabit this planet”

M: No. (to citizen) What profession art thou?

Carpenter: Why sir, A carpenter

M: Where art thou, tools of the trade? ( to cobbler)

What trade art thou?

C: Sir in respect for all trades, I am in a sense a Hitman

M: Speak bad fellow

M: Clearly……..

C: (Puts on a monocle) ‘pon My word sir that’s bludy brilliant. I am in fact a mender of bad soles

M: What trade art thou Speak clearly thou naughty knave

C: Please sir, don’t lose your temper

M : I still have it

C: Sir never mind, I can still mend you

M: Insolent monkey. What do you mean?

C: Cobble you as I am a cobbler

M: But why are you here?

C: To see victorious JC walk through the streets

M: What?

Act II Scene I

Brutus: Lucius, Ho! It is dark; I can’t tell what time it is. , Lucius I say!!

Lucius: (with candle) : Did you call me my lord

Brutus: No, of course not. Why would I call you ‘my Lord’?? Light a candle and that done bring it here.

Lucius: (Extinguishes the candle and relights it)

Brutus: It must be done by his death

Or then again maybe not

Actually yes

No! I couldn’t do that

(Enter Lucius)

Lucius: Sir, Here is a letter.

[Brutus reads aloud: Brutus thou sleepst, awake see thyself]

Admiring himself in the mirror when hears the doorbell

Lucius: Tis’ your brother Cassius at the door

Brutus: Is he alone?

Lucius: No sir, there are others with him, with their hats pluck’d over their ears.

Brutus: Show them in.

(Enter Conspirators hats pluck’d over ears)

Brutus and Cassius Whisper

Cassius: It must be done by his death

Brutus: Why?

Cassius: He is a tyrannical beast.

Brutus: Why?

Cassius: He is making us his slaves

Brutus: So?

Cassius: He is banning Barney on TV

Brutus: Fie! Kill the beast. But why do you need me

Cassius: So we can blame it on you..erm sorry….You see. Such a task is not easy. You see their have been many attempts in the past……………

(Enter HP into Senate)

Portia: Your days as evil tyrannical beast are over

Cassius: What? You plan to kill me?

HP: Yes! And soon all of Rome will be under my control. Expelliarmus!

(Red beam heads towards JC. He holds up a mirror. HP gets hit.)

Cassius: Now I get it.

Popilius: What?

Cassius: Why he was the boy who lived..

Scene shifts, Enter Terminator

T: Asta La Vista JC.

Shoots, JC holds up his hand and stops bullets

Return

Cassius: So that’s fixed. Let s swear an oath

Brutus: ****** Oath. Oath *******

Cassius: No. A pact.

Brutus: Oh. But let us not have an oath. Our deed is so treacherously evil that it doesn’t matter.

Decius: what about Antony

Cassius: He is a shrewd schemer. Let us dispose of him.

Brutus: How about no. Mehehehehehehehehehehe

He is a dreamer. Let him pass

Cassius: Very well

Exeunt

Brutus Remains. He hears a noise

Brutus: Is that you Portia?

Portia: Did you call me, Brutus my lord?

Brutus: Of course not. Why would I call you Brutus My lord? By the way, Did you see anyone?

Portia: No. Why was I not supposed to see anyone.

Brutus: No. You were not supposed to know that Cassius visited me in the middle of the night.

Portia: Come to think of it I thought I saw Cassius.

Brutus: What? How do you know it was him Have you see him even?

Portia: Of course I saw him. Many Many Many Many Many Many Many Many Many Many Many Many Many times. I know him as well as my own name.

Brutus: (slapping himself) PORTIA!

Portia: Yes that’s my name...By the ay what are you hiding from me

Brutus: Nothing

Portia: Don’t lie

Brutus: Seriously. I am not hiding the fact that we are secretly going to kill JC tomorrow.

Portia: OK. That’s seems fair enough.

Act III Scene I

Sooth- Sayer: Beware of the Ides of March

JC: What

Casca: He says beware of the 15th of March

JC: He is a dreamer, Let him Pass

Artemidorus: Hail Caesar

JC: Hail? Where

Artemidorus: Never Mind. Please o mighty JC, read this petition it touches you most

(Holds the sheet and goes touch touch)

JC: He is a Dreamer. Let him Pass

Popilius: Best of luck Macchi

Cassius: Oh no (beckons to Brutus to speak to him aside)

Aside

Brutus: What said Poppy???????

Cassius: (loudly) He wished us best of luck

Brutus: (loudly) Oh no! I fear our plot to kill the great JC, master of the universe has been discovered.

Cassius: Doesn’t that bother you

Brutus: Doesn’t this bother you……… Bother! Bother! Bother! Bother! Bother!

Cassius: Idiot. Let’s go rejoin our fellow conspirators

Cassius: (secretly) Look Trebonius knows his time. He is drawing Antony out

Brutus: So what. I can draw Antony too. (Draws a smiley face)

Cassius: Ignore him. Proceed with the plan

JC; to Metellus: [Rap]

Yo Metellus, I’m really really scared

I’m really really scared

People are trying to kill me

I thought they never dared

I used to say “he is dreamer, Let him pass”

But if I continue to say that they will toast my royal

Metellus: Oh most mighty, Royal, blue blooded, godlike, supreme deity, lord of the universe…. (Stops when Casca kicks him) Never mind that. Please hear me I present thee a humble heart……….

JC: I must stop thee Cimber. Such crying has no effect on me ‘cause I am ambitious and Brutus is an honorable man.

Brutus: I kiss thy hand, but not in love

I beg thee release Publius Cimber

Cassius: Pardon Caesar Caesar Pardon. (Kneeling)

Brutus: Pardon Pardon Caesar Caesar ……

Cassius: Idiot

JC: You are wasting your time. You see, some are born great. Some achieve Greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them.

Cassius: So what’s your point?

(Reenter Antony)

JC: Nothing. Just that I am great so my decision stands as firm as Mt. Olympus

Caius Ligarius: O mighty JC

Why won’t you recall poor Metellus’s Brother

JC: My Wish

Trebonius: (kneeling) Please, Please don’t be cheap!

(JC puts his nose so high that he topples backward)

Casca: Oh well, Hands speak for me

(Caesars gonna die! Caesars gonna die!)

[All the conspirators stab JC].

[Last and definitely the least comes Brutus]

[Stabs him in the Lower Backside]

JC: Ada Thu Brute. Caesar can never die……………. {Dies}

Cinna: Tyranny, Liberty Freedom is dead

Sorry….. [Checks his script] Liberty, Freedom Tyranny is dead

(Reenter Antony screaming. Pauses next to Cassius for 3 seconds. Says “Bother” and runs out)

Any reproduction, lending or unauthorized sales is a punishable offence

Just when you thought it was over...

2005-09-08T09:30:00.000-07:00

See subject. Thats why I am back. To contribute some more.
Hope you like this.

The next should give great cheer to those American President fans who feel that Osama should be killed....

The scientific side...

2005-09-08T06:18:00.000-07:00

My attempt at contributing continues. Hope you like this...

ACT I, Attempt I: A funny picture

2005-09-07T08:44:00.000-07:00

It didnt take me long to get into the act of All Your Base paraphenelia. Here is my contribution to this hilarious phenomena...

All your jokes are belong to us!!!

2005-09-07T03:22:00.000-07:00

See this link
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/222458

It is a Zero Wing Rhapsody and is hilarious...

One pic, before I make myself scarce (busy)
Is this the US foreign policy, perchance??? *evil grin*

Danke

2005-09-04T09:54:00.000-07:00

This is a short post about Reverbs 2005. I will not wate my timeor yours by describing it, as it has been done in exemplerary fashion in a vibrant day to day description by Tommy (see the link to Green Monster). It was great fun, and I enjoyed myself immensely.

I would like to congratulate all those involved in making REVERBS a success. I would also like to thank everybody, and especially the student council for giving me such an oppertunity. Doing the message board with Anirudh and Vignesh was an experience of a lifetime.

I truly felt as if we all were a team, working extra-hard to make Reverbs better than ever before, and I think that we just did...

Congrats all, and well organized SPL anna and akka *grin* and Cultural secretaries

Another

2005-09-03T02:33:00.000-07:00

I may seem obsessed... But this picture is too good to not share

Cool pic

2005-08-28T06:37:00.000-07:00

Short post. Apologies. Just wanted to share a damn funny picture....

Facts worthy of being called so?

2005-08-23T11:18:00.000-07:00

I had a reasonably good time today. I effectively missed the whole day of school (effectively, as I had 2 practical classes where I didnt do anything)
Now, the reason. I went to a debate contest held by some Bhengolli school (NOTE: To be pronounced with a round mouth. Should you be unable to do so, put a rasgolla there). To cut the long narrative short, I shall quote one of my competitors:

Said in a very confident voice:

"On September 11th 2002, the US was attacked by terrorists."
"The massive 10 storey tall WTC towers collapsed when they were hit by a plane."

WOW!!!! Had this been a real debate, he would have been blasted to oblivion by every damned person who listened to him. ife is so unfair and so to say evil. One goes to a contest to be hit by some nonsense at par with the gigantic 10 storey buildings which are hence at level with the 30 year old LIC building in Chennai. Not to mention the date..... he evidently was in hibernation for one year......... wonder whether he tried cryogenics....

Another competitor, was under the deluge of information that US accents were cool.In all esssence, he made a royal ass of himself as his accent made everything rhyme and it sounded like a nursery rhyme that would be a childs worst nightmare.

All in all. I survived that meet. (No, you neednt rejoice, as my posts will continue). Till the next time.......

Sayonara,
Antarius

All your base.........

2005-08-20T09:27:00.000-07:00

What is this 'All your Base' business I am often asked. In a nutshell, it is a big joke and a huge fad that has extended its reaches beyond the proximity of well made objects too.

All your base is the most famous dialog from an intro movie of a computer named 'Zero wing'. It is Japanese (and looks it too). The fad has travelelled far and wide and is even present in Easter Eggs in other computer games. Even large companies like Microsoft have the 'All your base' dialog hidden as a cheat code in their world famous, revolutionary computer gamer series Age of Empires.

So, what is this all about?
Its a intro movie with horrendous english. And thats being polite. The bad guy or evil dude (Although, calling CATS cool is on par with neuroning, a phenomena which I shall explain later), is a joke and with utmost sincerity says
"ALL YOU BASE ARE BELONG TO US!!!"

See the video. It is accompanied by a cool song in trance made by someone who believed in enjoying life. The link canbe found on my Sidebar (See video 1)

Also, before I forget, the dialog:

This dialog is still a mystery. I am not 100% positive as to what he is saying. If you know, please post it in the comments.

Till the next time. (really sleepy now)
Sayonara,
Antarius

Odd objects?

2005-08-20T09:25:00.000-07:00

Where would you find a REAG?

[Answer in Comments]

Proximity

2005-08-20T02:51:00.000-07:00

Proxima Centauri and Alpha Centauri are 11 million and 12 million light years away from the Earth. PC moves at12 m/s while AC moves at 14 m/s towards the Earth. The acceleration due to gravity is 9.814 m/s^2.
After one year, which is the closest star to the Earth?

[Answer in Comments]

Episode III: Revenge of the jokes.........

2005-08-18T23:20:00.001-07:00

1. Why do astrologers come up with weird stuff? [Their heads are up in space]

2. What does pink panther sing when he sees a dead ant? ["Dead - ant Dead - ant"]

3. What does pinkpanther sing when he sees a live ant? [Squishes it and sings Dead - ant]

4. What do people in debt do when they go for a drink? [They do the due]

5. How do flies communicate in Tamilnadu? [ e - Mail]

6. What would a sumo wrestler name his rock band? [Lead Zeppelin]

7. What is SISOMSO? [Reverse Osmosis]

8. Why is turning on a computer scary? [Because you have to Bhoot it]

9. what is refilling of a Gel pen called? [Add Gel]

Disclaimer: These jokes are original.Any coincidences are solely a matter of plagiarism on your part. Have a nice day.

The Spanish scenario

2005-08-18T22:27:00.000-07:00

Think you are so hot? Try these............

1. What do you call a Spanish Archer? [Elbows]

2. What do you call a spanish judge? [Eleven]

3. What do you call a Spanish child? [Elephant]

Can't understand?
Think it over............ till my next set of jokes, Sayonara

2005-08-18T08:20:00.000-07:00

A very apt welcome

How are you Gentlemen? Out of pure joblessness I decided to do summat like this. As it is found that:

"When one has a problem, 20% of the people you narrate it to
dont care while the rest are happy that you have them"

It makes little sense to keep harping on problems and whatsoever. Instead, I shall make this a place to propagate my jokes. This way I can make the world a funnier place. Any critical feedback to me stopping this blog is not appreciated and necessary. Sayonara, Antarius "I am the Alpha and the Omega"